“Every morning is a gift of life – bring some smile on your face and welcome the happiness of life.”
― Amit Ray, Peace Bliss Beauty and Truth: Living with Positivity

Ten and a half months ago I was 6 months sober, but I was clinically depressed, hopeless and wishing I was not alive. I felt I had nothing to live for. I couldn’t keep a job, a had horrible social anxiety, everything in my life seem too difficult. I could barely get out of bed to go to an AA meeting.

I ended up being a harm to myself and was admitted to a mental hospital, twice, during this time. After being released the second time, I went back to my home group and ended up having a panic attack because someone I had a resentment against was at the meeting and I was having a hard time being in the same room with them. I spoke to my sponsor after this meeting and thought I was doing better, but later that day I ended up buying a shot of vodka.

One shot of vodka and there goes my 6 months of sobriety. But something happened after this relapse. I had a spiritual awakening. A psychiatrist I had been seeing told me that I had all the tools to get better, I just needed to take the action and use them. He was right! For the last 7 1/2 years, I done the AA steps, but I’ve only gone through the motions.

This time around, I worked my butt off. I journaled, I wrote out my steps, I did daily gratitude lists, I prayed to God, I took service commitments, I meditate, work on my character defects, anything I could to stay sober. I’ve had periods of sobriety before, but I truly feel now, I have recovery. I am in the solution and I am receiving many gifts from this program.

I am able to keep a job today. 11 months ago I was mourning the loss of a 3 year relationship and now I am engaged to a wonderful, caring man. I started back to school to get a degree in Psychology. My fiance and I are looking for an apartment together. I am an active member at my fellowship and take other women to meetings. I no longer have social anxiety. My life has changed so much in such a short time. God and AA have given me many blessings.